But it’s Tuesday, the blog is late, the Oscars are trending, and I can do this quickly without tuning my brain on.
Let’s look at the latest crop of these Oscar nominations that have been forced down our throats this time.
I’ll make a few guesses here and there about what’s going to win, but those guesses will be made largely on content, virtue signalling, and victim points — since CONTENT seems to be the last thing Hollyweirdoes want to even consider, unless the content is about a black hispanic homosexual being brutalized by rich white oppressors, or screaming “REPUBLICANS ARE EVIL” over and over again, but enough about the film Vice.
And no, I don’t think that was cynical enough for today’s insanity.
I don’t think anyone cares about documentaries … (RGB? Zion? I can’t even find an IMDB page on some of these). Foreign language films … Poland did something about the Cold War, which probably slipped in because no one in Hollywood was looking.
For the log of God Almighty — FIFTEEN musical score nominations? Fifteen… talk about overkill. I know they expanded nominee rosters to allow for their pretensions and for popular films, but this is insane. Besides, they all enjoy masturbating to Lin Manuel Miranda, so we know that Mary Poppins Returns is a shoe – in. It satisfies their politics (after all, LMM might as well have started “Orange Man Bad”) and has the illusion of being popular (the nicest review I heard called the film “unnecessary”). Then again, as I look closer, the only thing on this list that doesn’t check all of the usual boxes is Infinity War…. unless someone really wants Thanos to be the Green Peace mascot.
Original songs … fifteen. Again. Ugh. This is …. an amazingly terrible collection.
Short films…. who cares? Visual effects…. who cares?
Ah! Best actor! …. Let’s see, Christian Bale has signaled his virtue by calling Dick Cheney “Satan.” Rami Malek played gay (if he is for real, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.) Bradley Cooper… may have had to act. Viggo Mortensen … I don’t want to look at what he did. I”m guessing Bale is the winner.
Best Supporting Actor. If anyone cared about acting ability, I’d even give Mahershala Ali a nod — I’ve seen him, he can act. But if I recall correctly, he didn’t virtue signal hard enough in Green Book, and no one will ever give anything to Sam Elliott if it can be avoided. So I’m assuming Sam Rockwell for Vice, because George W. Bush is stupid and evil, etc etc, blah blah blah.
Actress in a Leading Role….. I’m assuming it’s going to either Lady Gaga for being a freak or to Melissa McCarthy because her Ghostbusters film “fought the patriarchy,” thus making it “her turn,” or something.
Actress, Supporting role. The Favourite, a film about women being bitchy to each other, is up twice. I’m assuming they get canceled out. I’d say Amy Adams in Vice, but that requires that people like Amy Adams. I do, but Hollywood doesn’t seem to.
Animated Feature Film …. I look here and I don’t care. I’m sure everyone I know wants it to be Spider-Verse.
Cinematography …. does anyone care? Costume design, oy.
Directing … Cold War is up for it (I found it on IMDB… Romeo and Juliet, Cold War style? Didn’t more interesting things happen then?). BlackKKKlansman has the virtue signal points, but I’m not sure Spike Lee has enough by himself. Roma (“A year in the life of a middle-class family’s maid in Mexico City in the early 1970s.”) The Favourite and Vice. This one is more of a crap shoot — virtue signalling on virtue signalling violence. Though Roma may win out because “working class Mexican” seems to have more victim points than anyone else right now.
Documentary … eh. Media has decided for the last two years to do very little BUT jerk off to Ruth Bader Ginsberg. So that’s my bet there.
Best picture … already? Oy. Let’s see … Black Panther has been thrown on probably because it made a ton of money and they may not be seen as out of touch. If it wins, it’ll be so they can say “we gave Marvel an award. We never have to do it ever again” and move on. Frankly, it’s one of the lesser marvel films. It really is. If BlacKKKlansman wins, they can say they gave Spike Lee something. Bohemian Rhapsody might win … because gay, but “gay” may not have the right victim status anymore and lacks the points. The Favourite …. “rich white girls are bitches” movie…. who cares? Green Book seems to be about people who work for a living with people who can act– I’m almost certain it’s not going to win, though it may be the only thing here that might deserve it. Vice, A Star is Born, and Roma might win for the reasons mentioned above in other categories.
Wow, such pretentious bullshit. I’m 100% certain that nothing here was nominated based on the strength of their acting, writing or directing, and based entirely on political math. Yet again, I’m going to stay far, far away from the Oscars. Screw these guys.
Here, have some books that have no pretension whatsoever
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