A Tale of Two Cults

2 Cults

Repeating the ancient observation that human beings are wired for worship is all the rage these days. Even hardcore atheists are fond of garnishing their rhetoric with that old chestnut.

The follow up is usually an argument that treats piety as an evolutionary mistake, like an appendix prone to inflammation. Science™ lovers propose solutions ranging from “curing” faith with magnets like 19th century mesmerists to replacing outdated religion with a more rational® substitute. Like French revolutionaries.

What the Big Brain Bunch always miss is the fact that they’re engaging in a form of worship themselves–worship of their own intellects which statistician William M. Briggs calls scidolatry.

But I’m not here to talk about the small-souled bug men. They’ve had a rough enough time lately.

Today we’ll take a close look at two cults that have sprung up more or less organically in the stagnant tidal pool left when Christianity receded in the West.

Two secular religions now compete–and often collaborate–to take the cultural high ground once held by the Church

First, let’s define our terms. To qualify as a religion, a group must have three elements:

  • Cult: a consistent body of rituals for public worship
  • Code: a set of moral rules
  • Creed: a canon of shared myths that defines a shared identity
I’ll add a further criterion introduced by reader D.J. Schreffler. A religion offers adherents explanations for their past, present, and future.
  • The origin story–this is part of the creed.
  • Ritual laws for the here and now–see cult and creed above.
  • Eschatology–the final chapter of the creed.
With the preliminaries out of the way, let’s take a look at our two worldly cults in light of these terms.
The Cult of Pop Culture

GoT Watching Party
The 30-year-old cat lady who angrily petitioned HBO to remake Game of Thrones Season 8, the geek who buys four copies of every limited edition comic, the Star Wars fan who’s still interested in seeing Episode IX because, “I have to know how it ends!” 

None of them are merely consuming entertainment. They are engaging in acts of public worship sanctioned by the PopCult.

Let’s break it down.

Cult: Conspicuously consume Movies, TV shows, comics, and games blessed by the high priests at the six media companies. Attend the holy conclaves. Don the sacred vestments–ironic pre-faded tee shirts and cosplay. Go forth into the comments section and social media as a brand evangelist.


Creed: This is where the PopCult falls short of a full-fledged religion. While they have a massive and growing body of shared lore with which all members are expected to have at least a passing familiarity, only hopeless psychotics believe any of it is real.

As a result, the PopCult doesn’t offer any answers. It’s pure escapism. The problem is it’s an escape from self-mastery and virtue into the clutches of soulless megacorporations.

The Death Cult


If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you’re well aware of the Death Cult’s contours. Nevertheless, most people seem to need constant reminders of this diabolical movement’s evils.

In a nutshell, the Death Cult is a heretical mutant offshoot of Christianity that discards Christian doctrines it doesn’t like, warps the others into anti-human inversions of their original purpose, and enforces them with rabid zeal.

You should take some time getting to know the Death Cult, since it’s now the dominant cultural force in the West.

Cult: vicious ritual acts that are each inversions of a Christian sacrament. Taking part in a hate mob to unperson an infidel is reverse confession. Butt marriage is the inversion of holy matrimony. Butchering unborn babies and consuming their remains is the Death Cult’s profane communion.

Code: the Byzantine and ever-changing form of cynical, coercive speech codes known as political correctness is now so infamous that Death Cultists are scrambling to rebrand it.

Creed: The Death Cult embraces two coequal but contradictory dogmas. 1) Everyone is so radically equal that all distinctions between individuals are oppressive social constructs. 2) Straight, white, Christian males have unnatural superpowers which have enabled them to enslave and oppress everyone else.

Unlike the PopCult, which is really just a funnel into the Death Cult run by the latter’s high priests, the Death Cult does offer explanations for humanity’s past, present, and future.

Origin story: Everyone existed in a natural state of blissful equality until straight, white men enslaved and colonized all other groups. The golden age ended, bringing forth misery and inequality by the evil white man’s hand.

Pattern for daily life: All death cultists must work tirelessly to smash the patriarchy, bash the fash, and end the scourge of whiteness. #Resist!

To simplify matters, all of this boils down to relentlessly attacking the Christ and His disciples, though admitting that out loud breaks the Death Cult’s discipline of the secret.

Eschatology: Once white people are a minority and the churches have been turned into dance clubs, the Golden Age of peace and equality will dawn once more. Most people living today won’t be there to see it because they’ll have been murdered, but it’ll totally be worth it!

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