This is literally the first trailer, and surprisingly, it looks good. Someone should tell it to the people who made the first Captain Marvel trailer. Me? Cynical? Naw.
Anyway, this looks like fun. More importantly, it looks like Sony is treating Peter Parker’s friends as disposable as they should be. Tranquilizing Ned is a good start. Though I still refuse to credit … that as MJ. Though at least someone taught Miss Resting Bitch Face how to smile. Though I’d still like to hit her with a 2×4. As I understand it, tormenting someone you have a crush on is something that happens in grammar school, not high school.
Let’s break this down a bit.
Opening: Aunt May seems to have gotten used to her nephew being a superhero. She’s gotten even more used to Tony Stark’s Happy Hogan. I guess it’s good to be a producer.
:30 — Peter Parker’s European vacation. I’m not sure how you work that into bringing along a collection of high schoolers on a vacation that’s worth tens of thousands of dollars…. unless of course it’s a Tony Stark endowment. Given what happens next, it wouldn’t surprise me.
1:12 — Sam muthaf***ing Jackson as Nick muthaf***ing Fury. Yee haw. Given everything that has happened to Tony Stark, it’s good to retire him from this franchise. Also, Peter Parker needs adult supervision, and Tony doesn’t really qualify.
1:24 — And Fury is already stealing this movie. Please, let Ned swallow his tongue. He’s annoying as hell.
1:29 — whoever is doing the music for this trailer is turning the classic 60s Spider Man theme into something that almost sounds epic. Who knew? Props to this fellow.
1:36 — Spider Man becomes London Has Fallen. I approve.
1:38 — the bad guys for this film are “elementals.” Sorry, all I can think is “So, someone re-purposed Sandman and Hydroman?”
1:53 — The Spiderman Noir suit? Interesting choice. Though considering how dark the back story on that costume design is, I’m not expecting they’ll call it that.
2:03 — Mysterio? Why’s he in this film? As a … hero? Considering the background on Mysterio, I’m going to wonder if he’s the bad guy, and all of the other villains are simply one mass illusion on his part. It would explain why a character whose biggest abilities were splashy special effects is fighting elemental Kaiju.
2:25 — oh, look, they’ve decided to make the character called Flash Thompson a fan of Spider Man and a dick to Peter Parker. Now if they just made him a six-foot blond athlete dickhead instead of a preppy Indian midget, they might come close to recognizable to readers of the comic books.
Until the reviews for Far From Home comes out, (proving it’s safe to watch) here, have some action packed novels that aren’t made for the PC crowd.
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