A New Yorker on Gun Control

New York City is not home to the most stringent gun laws on the planet Earth, though you would be forgiven for thinking that, given that our last mayor has become one of the biggest anti-gun nuts in the country. We are, however, close to having gun laws as insane as Chicago.

And I want a gun.

All of my local friends want guns.

We want handguns for “out on the town” defense. We want rifles and shotguns for at-home defense. Who am I kidding? After my two gun shop visits out of state, I want guns just for the fun of target shooting. Because target shooting is fun. Also, I’m told I’m good at it.

Yes, yes, I’m know. NYC is one of the safest big cities on the planet Earth, but that also requires a police force that is literally bigger than the ENTIRE FBI. It’s probably also bigger than Interpol, but I haven’t looked up those numbers yet, so I can’t say for certain.

Yet, everywhere I turn, there’s yet another idiot online talking about how “we need gun control.”

Well, we have gun control. It’s called Chicago, where there’s a shootout every weekend, and over a dozen fresh bodies in the morgue. It’s called London, where guns are banned, but the assaults with a deadly weapon are so high, kitchen knives must be banned, and restricted — and no, I’m not kidding. We have Australia, who confiscated guns, and all of their violent crime SHOT UP.

Then there are places where gun control means that you hit what you aim for. I call it Switzerland, the country where every home has a NATO-issue rifle. Their crime rate is insanely low.

What’s what you say? Switzerland has a different culture? Funny, every time someone holds up European and Australian gun laws as an example of what we do, “it’s not our culture” somehow never applies.

But okay, fine. How about we compare and contrast America.

Have you ever noticed that we don’t get a lot of shootings in the South? I’ll address Virginia tech and the recent Florida shooting in a minute. But one of the bigger incidents with guns in the South happened in Texas. Two Jihadi types came in with 200 rounds of ammo and AK47s — fully automatic weapons. They were dropped by an off-duty guy with a side arm in a matter of seconds, because welcome to Texas, muthaf**ka.

But yeah, overall, places with high rates of gun ownership have a sharp decrease in gun crime. Why? Because you are either polite, or the locals will shoot you. A lot.

But then, welcome to Virginia Tech and Parkland. I always understood that the people of Virginia and Florida were always very enlightened about guns, because everyone had one and knew what the Hell they were talking about. So, when I first heard about them, I wondered what was going on.

Then I heard they were a “gun free zone” and everything suddenly made sense. Seriously, who thought that this was a good idea? Who honestly thought that disarming the law abiding was going to disarm the criminal?

And, seriously, enough about the AR(malite) 15. It’s a gun so common, children use it. Nine year old girls have pink Hello Kitty AR-15s. It’s not some “military” weapon. It’s semi-automatic. Anyone who ever saw Under Siege should realize that semi-automatic means that you pull down the trigger, and a bullet comes out. A single bullet. The Virginia tech shooter killed more people with handguns than this “ultimate death weapon” all the anti gun nuts are so hyped up about.

But now we’re told that citizens don’t need guns. That’s what cops are for…. then we learn that the cop at the Parkland shooting sat outside while children were slaughtered.

Seriously, what’s so hard about this math?

Chicago banned guns, their crime went up.

Australia and the UK banned guns, THEIR crimes went up.

98% of shootings are in gun free zones, which mean they PROMOTE crime.

Switzerland has guns all over the place, they’re cool.

The American South has guns all over the place, they’re cool … except for gun free zones.

So taking guns is not about safety. It’s about control.

Did no one learn anything from prohibition? Ban something, you get more of it. There were people who drank more during prohibition than before or after it. I await the day when we have speakeasy gun clubs that are three levels under the street so no one can hear the gun fire.

You want “common sense gun control”? Get rid of the gun free zones, and let everyone carry guns wherever and whenever they want. Because an armed society is a polite society.

I am a New Yorker, and I want my guns.

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