A Sci-Fi Twist on the Four Yorkshiremen

Over at theologyweb a few years back (which unfortunately had a server meltdown a while ago and all the old postings were lost, including the conversation I describe below), we played a variant of the Four Yorkshiremen Sketch (for those of you who don’t know what I’m referring to, here is the original):

 

 

Much fun was had, one of the boasts that stuck in my memory was ‘We couldn’t afford jokes about four Yorkshiremen, we had to make do with two.’ Here is a composite (and slightly embellished 🙂 ) version of my own contribution:

 

“You all had it easy! We lived as disembodied heads inside the event horizon of a supermassive black hole. Each morning* we had to find a loophole in the laws of physics to escape the black hole (a different one each time, mind you), make our way across to the other side of the known universe while fighting off alien superbeings, collect together dust from spent nebulae into a planet, terraform and farm it for our breakfast, all using only our own eyelids! After that there was no more laying about and the hard work began!

 

* I say morning, it was really the time until we could stand the agony** of being spaghettified inside the black hole no longer, which was usually a few nanoseconds after the alien superbeings threw us in and closed the loophole we’d used last time.

 

** I say agony, but ‘unrelenting, mind-numbing agony, why?’ was our little pet name for it so it would seem more pleasant. In reality any attempt to quantify it accurately would destroy the universe, which was what got the superbeings so annoyed with us in the first place.”

 

Anyone care to top that?